Originally broadcast on February 11th, 1965 at 11:35 AM on CHED Radio, Edmonton, Alberta Canada

A man who had once been an Alderman warned us against ever getting mixed up in that kind of life. He said at alderman has a terrible time. 

“If,” he said, “you accept invitations to parties they say you are a booze hound. If you don't, they say you are antisocial.” 

“If your picture is in the paper, they say your publicity chaser.” “If it isn’t, they say what happened to so-and-so?” 

“If you oppose spending money you are reactionary. If you don't you are going to put the taxes up.” 

“If you attend out of town conferences, you are junketing, If you don't, you are letting the city down.” 

“If you are for livelier Sundays, you are a sinner. If you're not, you are a spoilsport.” 

“If you say sewers first, the culture crowd is down on you. If you don't, the householder is mad at you.” 

“If you favour putting dogs on leash, the dog lovers all get sore at you. If you don't, the garden fans hate you.” 

“If you get your own street cleared of snow, they say you are chiseling. If you don't, they say what good are you anyway.” 

“If you attend all civic meetings, they say you're trying to become mayor. If you don't, they say you are the council deadweight.” 

“If you vote more money for Alderman, you are a bandit. If you don't you are a hypocrite.” 

“If you work your head off 16 hours a day for the city, your wife will leave you. If you don't, the voters will.”