Originally broadcast on CHED radio - Date unknown

I have just read another article on how you ladies can help keep your husband alive. According to all these articles… and they are all true… we men are burning ourselves out. We are becoming old men before our time… our life expectancy is 46; we are trying to keep up the pace that we ourselves have set. Now then… we HAVE to do that because we have a certain standard of living which we must maintain and improve year-by-year. But… you can help us stay alive if you’ll do a few simple things. First thing in the morning… YOU get out of bed… let him have that extra few minutes in the sack. You get the kids washed, dressed and fed, and then serve hubby his breakfast. Feed the baby in another room because the noise of the baby crying for his meal gets father off to a bad start and ruins his whole day. When he phones you… or if he phones during the day… don't tell him about the baby drinking the turpentine… or the kids breaking the window next-door… or the preserves boiling over on the stove… or the nine fistfights you've had in the backyard… or the bills that came in or the cough the baby has… don't worry him… he has worries of his own. After all he has that business luncheon at the petroleum club, and he must be in good form. And that night… let him relax when he comes home… you cook the dinner… wash the kids… keep it silent around the house… get his slippers… his pipe… his paper, and when you’re finished with the dishes, bathing the kids and putting them to bed… tell him about all the nice things that happened to you during the day… all the pleasant little things. Make sure, too, that he gets two days off each week to hunt… or golf… or play poker with the boys… and see to it that he gets away on a vacation alone at least once a year… and, oh yes, don't bother him about clearing the snow off the walks… you do it… hard on his heart you know. In this way your husband can stand the awful pace of business today and live to a ripe old age… mind you – you'll die at 32 just as sure as shootin’… but Papa, he'll have it made till he's 99. So there you have it girls. How about it? Don't you want to help keep your husband alive?