Originally broadcast on CHED radio - Date unknown

The kids of today – what are we doing to them? What are we creating? I'll bet every mother listening, who has a child in her home had that child say yesterday, during the rain, "what can I do mommy?". And you said "go play with your bike in the basement, or your building blocks, or your scooter, or your space cadet outfit, or your Zorro sword, or Wyatt Earp  guns, or your Rocking horse, or your fleet of cars, or your games, or your books, or your electric train, or your rocket radio, or watch your own TV set. Am I right? I tell you if I buy anymore kids toys, the old man is going to have to move out. You know what? My wife bought a five year old son of mine a sleeping bag. I am 36. I have camped out every year since I was 15. I'm still freezing my derrière  off on Spruce boughs every fall during the hunting season. Both the kids have a tent, the old man hasn’t, and get this, my eight year old has a $265 imported Austrian shotgun. I have a beat up, old $50 double barrel Winchester. My oldest came in yesterday and says, "I need a new bike". I said, “why?”. "I just paid $65 for a bike for you a year ago”. He says, "yes, but the tread is wearing off the tires". I explained you could get new tires, but no sir, he won't ride it. He walks. I know what you're saying. Forbes has rocks in his head. You're right. Let me tell you something. The boots I wear hunting every year - I bought with money I made selling rotten leaves for fertilizer when I was 14. I was 22 before I knew a turkey had anything but hard meat. I never had toys. My mom used to give me a spool and we’d cut notches in it, put an elastic through it and some candle wax and a match on one end and make a tank. One of these days I expect my boy to come in and ask for a membership in the Diners Club. I'll tell him to go sell one of the three plastic swimming pools we have and buy it. The pay off. I asked the kids if they'd like to go to a movie. I thought this would be a nice change. I phoned them – "hey, Mart, how about we all go to a movie this afternoon?" A long pause, then he said "what's playing?”.