Sunday 31 January 2021

Originally broadcast on CHED radio - Date unknown

I have recently read two articles concerning the elusive Loch Ness monster. This is the creature that is reported to appear in this Scottish lake from time to time. According to legend, the monster has been doing so for hundreds of years. An organization of scientists has now planned a most elaborate expedition in order to either confirm or deny the existence of this world famous sea serpent. All that is fine, just so long as nothing definite comes out of this adventure. Frankly, I am getting more than a little bored with science as it coldly strips the mystery from all of our phenomena; as it goes about explaining everything I have held in awe since childhood. For example I clung to the idea that thunder was the good Lord's chariots rolling across the heavens until I was 14 years old, in spite of what my teachers, my parents, my pals and the meteorologist tend to say. Although today I am 42 years old, I still have to fight a strong impulse each December 24 to leave cookies and milk for Santa. You see, I am one of those rare individuals who still finds it necessary to believe there are still some mysteries in life over which we mere mortals have no control. Let them look for the Loch Ness monster. Let them use radar and asdic against the sea beast. All I ask is that they never really find the monster; even if he doesn't exist.

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