Originally broadcast on CHED radio Tuesday May 4th, 1965

Every Sunday afternoon in millions of backyards across the nation you see him, that 1965 phenomenon, the male outdoor cook.  He is the product of the womanization of America. He is the escape hatch created by the female by which she escapes on every sunny Sunday from the burdensome chore of cooking dinner.  In his kitchen is a chrome lined, wall mounted, button bedecked oven. On the countertop are burners-with-a-brain, again complete with dials, gauges, knobs, buttons, clocks, thermostats, fans and hoods.  The oven has a window and is equipped with lights on the inside which go on when the door opens and resting halfway up the oven is the automatic revolving electrically controlled spit. But where is father? With $1000 worth of cooking equipment in the kitchen where is the Canadian male?  He is out in the backyard with a grimy round grease-laden, foul-smelling receptacle, a pail of filthy charcoal and the most expensive meats his money can buy.  He has a box of fire starter, a box of hickory chips, a jar of barbecue sauce, a can of liquid smoke, a bellows, a sprinkle bottle filled with water, several long spears, daggers, diggers, spades and he is ready.  After eight starts, he finally gets the fire going and then on go the steaks. In the course of the next two hours the fire gets too hot and he lifts the grill. The steaks aren't cooking so he lowers it again. Lowers it again. When he lowers it the grease drips into the fire and he fights an open flame for two minutes which leaves the meet jet black on the outside and bleeding on the inside. He sprinkles on hickory chips, sauce and liquid smoke. He prods, peaks, cranks, gets smoke in his eyes five times and smells up the entire block and to do all this he must wear a silly apron and a big cooks hat.  After a long tortuous hour he is ready to serve what he has destroyed. Everyone scrapes off the gray ash and eats the poor chard-on-the-outside-bleeding-on-the -inside steak.  And then it is ‘lie time’ as everyone says "boy, you just can't cook ‘em that way indoors.”  Do I do it? You bet I do, but something I still can't figure out. If you just can't cook up like that indoors, why did I put 1000 bucks into a kitchen set up that looks like a launching pad at Cape Kennedy?  Furthermore, millions of years ago cavemen loused up meats with an open fire just like we males do every Sunday.  Are we going AHEAD or are we going BACKWARDS? I dunno. But what are you going to do?